Your Check is in the Mail...

So what is a deadbeat parent exactly?  Deadbeat parents aren’t necessarily just those who don’t support their kids financially. What about the ones who do actually pay their child support but make no effort to be a part of their children’s lives?  The ones who only offer empty promises? Who never come to pick their kids up for visitation? The ones who forget birthdays and holidays?  The ones who won’t even acknowledge the kids belong to them, or who have started a new family? New wife, new kids, new life that doesn’t include your kids?  Yes, those are all deadbeats in my book.

The term “deadbeat dad” is thrown around pretty frequently these days.  But what about the deadbeat moms?  While men are frequently made out to be the villains, there is a fair share of mothers out there who take no responsibility for their children, provide no support, financially, physically, or emotionally. Those who have run off to start a new life or abandoned their children for whatever reason.  There is no age limit or gender standard.  It’s not only those in poor economical situations who refuse to support their children; I’ve seen many articles about celebrity parents not supporting their children.  What excuse could they possibly have?  

Your check is in the mail.  How many times have I heard that? Or some variation of such. How many times have any of us heard that empty promise?  Always some excuse why the money wasn’t sent, or some promise that it will arrive in the next day or two.  Or some lie why it couldn’t be paid.  

I think the worst and most elaborate excuse I ever hear from my ex was this long and drawn-out story about how his checking account was stolen, so he had to close it, and then when he made his child support payment the state posted it to the wrong account, and he was in touch with them to get it taken care and I should have money in a couple of weeks.  C’mon, really? That’s not to say that couldn't happen but I learned the hard way never trust what he said.  So I called the state and just as I suspected no such thing was happening.  No surprise; just be honest about it. 

I’d have an inking more respect (but only miniscule) if my ex told me that he couldn’t send child support because he just bought himself a new Playstation or a new computer.  And that teeny tiny miniscule ounce of respect would only come from the fact that he was honest about it.  That still wouldn’t excuse the fact that is a completely selfish purchase when his kids need new shoes, or glasses, or school clothes. 

So let’s showcase the deadbeats in our lives.  Let’s post pictures and stories and let the world know what kind of people they are.  Let’s warn anyone else that may come into contact with them, and hopefully save someone else the painful experiences we have already endured. Maybe we can even shame a few into paying.